Hi Keshets!
I use table rate shipping by order total also. I set mine up by going to
Components>Virtuemart>Admin>Configuration and there, click on the Shipping tab. Choose the "Shipping based on order totals. Fixed shipping costs based on values entered in configuration." Make sure the others are un-checked.
Then, go to Store>Shipping Module List> (still along the gold Virtuemart menu bar) and choose #7 shipvalue to configure your table.
I don't use extra charges, so I don't know how to fit those in.

Unless you try #4 flexshipping.
Hope this helps!
sylvia